The Joys of Family Life

It is a very easy thing for a man to lose sight of all those things that make life worth living. For some reason, we face the perennial difficulty of continually valuing that which is not truly valuable in our life. Instead of rejoicing in all that is good, we often become worried and anxious about a lot that really doesn't matter. We tend to focus on the little, unimportant things such as whether we have a nice house or car, whether we're meeting our financial goals, or whether we're seen as popular. We feel anxiety over bills, jobs, opinions and clothes. We lose sleep over projects, quibbles, and hurt pride. We forget about all the good, all the love that Jesus has shared with us.

Perhaps one of the most beautiful things about family life, though, is that if we're willing to look, if we're willing to listen, the love we experience in family life will always lead us back to the True, the Good, and the Beautiful. For instance, during the past two weeks, life has been rather crazy in the Anderson household. We have had a first birthday, a major gala, and a first communion. We've had a number of one-time expenses that have made it hard to keep track of finances. We've gone out a number of times with various friends or family, and had other friends or family over. In short, we have had a normal late April/ early May filled with the hustle and bustle that this time of the year entails. Spring has sprung, and the cabin-fevered inhabitants of Virginia have spilled out of the house into a busy calendar.

With such hustle and bustle comes thousands of questions to preoccupy the mind. How are we getting there? What time does it start? How should we handle having a one-year old there? Can we afford doing this? In short, the questions of who, what, where, when and how keep going through our minds over and over again. But every once and a while, amongst the who's, what's, where's and when's, a WHY sneaks in and makes all the difference.

With such busyness, with such a crazy amount of things to get done, the "why" is the greatest source of joy. Of course, the ultimate "why" for any action should be the glory and love of God. Everything we do, down to the smallest task of brushing our teach, represents an opportunity to love and serve Jesus. But one of the particular joys of the married/parent vocation is that the ultimate "why" to all of life's mysteries is wrapped up in smaller concrete "why's" - namely, the family. As a man, everything I do ought to be for God, and this will be my great joy. As a married man, everything I do ought to be for my wife and son, and this will also be my joy.

During such crazy times, then, when it is so easy to become distracted, the smallest things of family life can lead one's soul into peace again. A simple smile from a baby boy, a loving hug from a caring wife, a word of encouragement from a wise parent, these small concrete things can bring our focus back to where it ought to be. These gestures act as a reminder of who it is I'm called to work for. At Liz's and I's wedding, a close priest friend of ours who was giving the homily asked us to look at one another and see our path to heaven. Since that day, I have only begun to understand this. I still don't fully understand it, I probably never will, but in the nearly two years since that day, it has become plain to me that true joy for a married man is found in the love received from and especially given to his family.