"As Jesus passed on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the customs post. He said to him, 'Follow me.' And he got up and followed him. While he was at table in his house, many tax collectors and sinners came and sat with Jesus and his disciples. The Pharisees saw this and said to his disciples, 'Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?' He heard this and said, 'Those who are well do not need a physician, but the sick do. Go and learn the meaning of the words, 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' I did not come to call the righteous but sinners.' " Mt. 9:9-12
Being named after such a man has always been a great honor and a blessing for me. Each year, on September 21, I listen attentively to how my namesake first came to know our Savior, and every year I am struck by how beautiful a moment it must have been for Matthew to write this account down. It seems to me that he leaves very few clues as to his reactions and feelings at the time. However, I do believe he leaves some.
The story of his conversion comes a full nine chapters in to his own Gospel, and when it does come, it is so brief that it is almost easy to forget that you are reading the author's conversion. It is presented as just another story, but I like to think about what Matthew must have felt when he wrote these verses 2000 years ago. It was a moment that changed his life, a moment after which he would never be the same again. As he wrote these verses he must have remembered the look Christ gave him, the tone of voice Christ used, and the relief he (Matthew) must have felt when he stood up, and followed Him.
Of course, one of the most striking aspects of the story is the immediacy with which Matthew followed Christ. Most sermons on this passage focus on this point. While Matthew seems to recognize this as an important part of his conversion, I don't think he saw it as the center of the story, though. I imagine him saying, "How could I not have followed Him?" We are struck by the immediacy of Matthew's response as outsiders looking in, but it seems Matthew is most struck by the meal afterwards. It seems he was more struck by the immediate intimacy of the relationship as reflected in the meal than in how the relationship actually began. He is struck by the love Christ shows him in eating at his table, and the words of Christ's mercy are burned into Matthew's heart so that years later I am sure he remembered them as they were said.
Just a few hours before the meal Matthew's life was the same as it had always been. Now, at dinner, he hears Christ tell the religiously proud Pharisees that he has come to heal Matthew and his friends. He has not come to exclude Matthew, He has come to eat at Matthew's table and heal him. For years Matthew carried these words in his heart: "I desire mercy, not sacrifice," and when he writes his conversion story, this is where he chooses to place his emphasis. For Matthew, his conversion and his whole relationship with Jesus is first and foremost a story of mercy. To him, Jesus is the Son of God made man who pulled Matthew out of sin. Jesus cleansed Matthew, and Matthew never forgot that.
He does not emphasize his own reaction because he does not think it is as important as Christ's reaction to his sin. He was a man who, like St. Paul, had learned to say, "it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me." Writing his Gospel, Matthew in turn wished to share that mercy with the rest of the world. He shares his experience so that other's might know the mercy of God. His goal in telling his story is not to become famous, gain followers, or, as secularists would have you believe, set up an institution by which men could preside as judge over other men. No, St. Matthew's message is clear: he wanted all men to know that Jesus had come to heal their sins and enter into a relationship with them. In a word, Jesus had come to save them.
Today, let us pray through the intercession of St. Matthew, that this message of forgiveness might not be lost on us. Once we have confessed our sins, they are totally forgiven. God's mercy runs deep, and it totally wipes away everything from the past. May the Lord immerse us Catholics once again in His Mercy, and may He share it with all those in the world who have never experience it. St. Matthew, pray for us.
No comments:
Post a Comment