Just a walk through the park

A couple years ago, I attended a retreat at the Community of St. John in Princeville, IL lead by the semi-famous Fr. Nathan. During one of those talks, Fr. Nathan said that sometimes following God's will was like a husband going for a walk through the park with his wife. Normally, this is a very sweet scene, as husband and wife stroll along the path looking at the beauty of the flowers and trees together. However, the scene takes on a whole new beauty if the wife is blind. As they walk through the park, the husband keeps his blind wife on the path with gentle motions of the hand, and if the wife lets go, then she may wander into the flowers and feel the pain of the thorns. But if she holds on to her husband's hand, and follows him step by step, she can still sense the beauty of the place dimly. Her husband's descriptions, though, become her main source of knowledge.

Of course, in this analogy, the fallen human soul is akin to the blind wife. Our senses and intellect have been dimmed by sin, and while we can still somewhat sense the beauty that is around us, there is so much that we can miss. Our best way to know the true goodness in things is by listening and taking to heart the words of our souls' husband, God. Though we can still come to knowledge on our own, His Divine Revelation is a description of Beauty itself that is given to us out of love. This Divine Revelation must be the knowledge that we value above all others. Philosophy, the Sciences, Math, Economics, Politics - all of these are good and worthy of our pursuit as well. The loving words of the Bridegroom, though, are what is really important. "Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God."


What really got me thinking about this analogy, though, was the lessons in it for how we are to follow God's will. I've noticed in myself, and in a number of friends around me, that there is a certain restlessness about God's will. In conversation with people my age, many seem restless about what the future holds for them. They don't know if they are called to married or religious life. They don't know when they're going to be able to afford to pursue to live the life they want for their children. They're not sure what they're called to do in the work sphere. There seems to be so many people in their mid-20's who are anxious to have all the stability of people in their mid-40's!


Liz and I fall into this category. We worry about jobs, education, buying a home, providing for our children. I tend to become over anxious about these things. But then I go back to the image of the blind wife, following her love in the garden. She doesn't know the path, and if she concentrates too much on finding the way for herself she will miss what her husband is saying to her. She will also miss the gentle motions of His hand, as He guides her through the garden. She may even let go, thinking she feels the path going another direction and then end up among the thorns of the flowers that are there for her to enjoy. In order for her to avoid this, she has to stop concentrating on the path and start concentrating on her husband. She must trust Him, and learn to respond to His gentle touch. She doesn't know where the path will go, or what sort of turns lie ahead of her. But she can't worry about that, she just needs to focus on her Love. He will guide her through the garden in such a way as to make her happy.


I pray for all of us in our mid-20's, just graduated from college. As we begin our lives, I pray that we might not be anxious. I pray that we can totally focus on the Love of our souls, who guides us through this garden of life with gentle and loving motions of His hand. And I especially pray that we can let go of our own efforts enough that we can learn to enjoy the garden through His eyes.

Ups, Downs, and All Arounds: Part 1

Sometimes God shows us how much He loves us by making everything go right. Sometimes, He shows us how much He loves us by giving us small gifts when everything is going wrong. This past weekend was certainly one of those latter times for Liz and I.

As some of you may know, Liz's brother Freddie moved up to New Hampshire about a year ago to begin working at Thomas More College. Since then, we haven't really had a chance to see much of him and his family, so Liz and I decided we would take the 4th of July weekend to travel up north and visit the family. It's a 10 hour car ride up to New Hampshire, so Liz and I aimed to leave by 8:00 in the morning on Thusday. Since having a baby, though, we have discovered that leaving times are very flexible, so instead we left at 8:30. It was a beautiful cool morning, and we were able to roll the windows in the car down and enjoy the countryside as we drove. We started out on Interstate 81, and went North through West Virginia, Maryland, and Pennsylvania. The stretch of 81 through Pennsylvania is a particular favorite of mine since you can see a number of Amish farms from the Interstate, which is pleasing to me but probably maddening to the Amish.

Alan was good through out this time, sleeping in his car seat and only fussing when he got hungry. After stopping once or twice to feed Alan, we got on to I-78 which would take us towards New York City, where we would turn more north into Connecticut. Though Alan was still asleep, I needed to stop for gas, so I pulled off at the exit for Bloomsbury, NJ. Unfortunately, the car would never reenter 78. After stopping for gas and to use the restroom, we hopped back in the car ready and rearing to go when our 280,000 mile car finally failed us.

I turned the key once, and the car valiantly struggled to start.... but failed. I turned they key again, and it still struggled but not so valiantly. After a third try, and a more pitiful attempt by the car, I knew we were in trouble. We opened the hood, waved a couple of nice people down (they were actually on the way to the hospital to see their newborn grandson), and tried to start the car, but all to no avail. So, after trying what we could, we had to call a tow truck to take it to a shop.

We broken down right around 1:00, but weren't able to get the car to the shop until 4:00. This meant that we'd have to wait a night in New Jersey before continuing our journey northwards. This loss of a day was the hardest thing for Liz and I. Though we both tried to shoulder on, it definitely brought our spirits down. We had planned to drive up on Thursday and back on Tuesday, giving us four full days with Freddie and Nicole. By losing a day, we knew we were losing a significant part of the trip. We had also been planning to visit Liz's godfather on Friday, but now we would have to cancel that visit.

We checked into a hotel that night and then found out that a cousin of Liz's mom lived close by, so we made arrangements to meet with her the next day. The cousin (who we call "Aunt Pat") offered to visit with us and also to drive us to the shop if needed. As it would turn out, we'd be incredibly greatful for this later.
And so the next morning we waited. When we'd dropped the car off, the mechanic had told us that there was a problem with the o-rings and that he could get us on the road before noon the next day. So, Liz and I waited anxiously, fearing we'd have to miss another day. Around 12:45, I called the mechanic again, only to find out that after having replaced the o-rings the car still didn't start.

By this point, we were desperate to get on our way, so  Liz and I rushed to the shop with the aid of Aunt Pat. After grabbing a few things from the car, Aunt Pay drove us to a rental car place just a few miles away, where we were able to rent a Dodge Durango (very luxurious, by the way). Finally, around 3:00 on Friday, we were on our way again. At the hour of mercy, the Lord let us continue our journey. I can't tell you how good it felt to be on the road again. With each passing mile, the stress from the previous 26 hours wore off. Slowly we made our way towards New Hampshire, just thankful to be on the road again.

Though our trip had been stressful, we knew God had given us the gift of breaking down near family (after Aunt Pat, the closest family was 3 hours away!) and before we got to New York City. As we went along, other blessings made themselves evident. It was a warmer day than the day before, but the rental car had air condition, which was something our little car was lacking. Going through New York City we had to cross the George Washington Bridge, but didn't have the money for the toll. So, God sent my guardian angel (a 5' 10" guant Mexican with long greasy black hair smoking a cigarette) to let us pass without paying the toll.

After 6 1/2 hours in the car, we arrived at Freddie and Nicole's so thankful to be visiting. Losing a day had made us incredibly grateful just for the time we were being given. We felt like Odysseus coming home from the Trojan war, except that Freddie and Nicole didn't have people trying to take our place.

To be continued....